It's Hard Out Here (For a Manager of Prostitutes)

Sometimes, do you have trouble interpreting the poetry that is the oeuvre of the Yin Yang twins? Or the socio-psychological symbolism hidden in the words of a 50 Cent song? Are you confused when Bob Dylan makes references to rolling stones, or when Beyonce talks about putting a ring on it?

Thank God, there is a service out there for those colloquialismally-challenged people that need a line-by-line interpretation of songs.  It's called SlangCity and guess what it does...YES! It translates slang-laden songs! It does other stuff too, but this is no advertisment y'all. (ww.slangcity.com)

Let me give you a sample from their translation of Wanksta by 50 Cent

"Shorty she so fine/ Gotta make her mine/Ass like that gotta be one of a kind" 

-----------> "That attractive woman is so beautiful/I have to make her mine/Buttocks like that are unique"

But the best, by far and wide, the most horrible and beautiful assembling of words ever, is their rendition of Baby Got Back (By Sir Mixalot. It must have been such a wondrous moment when he was knighted) (BTW, the song's title would be translated to, 'The Woman Has a Large Butt"

"Ooh, Rump-o-smooth-skin/You say you wanna get in my Benz/Well use me, use me 'cuz you ain't that average groupie."

------------->"Ooh, butt with smooth skin,/ You say you want to get in my Mercedes Benz luxury car/

Well use me, use me because you aren't like the usual girls who follow musicians and offer them sex."

OR 

"Baby, I got it goin' on/A lot of simps won't like this song/'Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it/But I'd rather stay and play/'Cuz I'm long and I'm strong/And I'm down to get the friction on."

-------------->"Baby, I am great /A lot of stupid men won't like this song/Because those weak losers like to have sex and quickly leave,/But I'd rather stay and play/Because I have a long penis and I'm strong,/And I'm eager to have sex with you."

Other personal favorites; It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp by Three 6 Mafia (rougly translates into It's Hard Out Here for a Manager of Prostitutes) or Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) aka Single Ladies (If you liked our relationship, then you should have given me a wedding ring.)

They've also kindly hilighted in red the words that are obscenities, you know, in case you had some trouble pointing them out. Strangely enough, the standardising of all the lyrics makes the dirty ones seem EVEN MORE obscene in "proper English."

A couple days ago, I found this hilariously funny. Yesterday I showed it to my 21 year old brother and he barely chuckled, giving me a concerned side-eyed glance as I tried to repress my juvenile fit of laughter. I'm now re-examining the age of my sense of humor. (I've evaluated it to be 14 year old boy's) I'm admittedly a little ashamed.