Ill-Advised Insomnia-Influenced Post

It's 4 AM and I can't sleep. This is due to many factors, one being an impromptu early nap brought on by wine/beer/pure laziness. Ok, that was really the only reason.

You may have noticed that I have a recent and burgeoning obsession with Jersey Shore. Sadly, many of my friends do not sympathize with my love for the guido's and guidettes of the shore, and have refused to allow their eyes to feast on the tanned entertainment that they have to offer.

I can kind of understand- when Jersey Shore came out, I was hesitant to compromise what I believed were my "intellectual" qualities to watch what I underestimated to be another mere "Real World" masquerading as something special.

How wrong I was. There are so many reasons to watch this tan-fest, and my mission is to make my unwilling friends watch just ONE episode, of my choosing. 

1) Snooki She is a reason all of its own. Maybe I'm partial to people below 5'2, but this pickle-loving ball of fun has captured my heart. She makes funny noises and is perhaps the most well-intentioned of the bunch


2) Vocabulary Lessons DTF, Grenades, Landmines, Shady Bitches, GTL; the list goes on and it's too late/early for me to explain it all. See here

3) Endless Parody Opportunities (See also, Snookishop)

Funny or Die Jersey Shore Parody
- Watch more Funny Videos at Vodpod.

Watch this, I beg of you, if not only for Pauly D's wonky British accent. 
Also, the song Grenade has a whole new meaning to me now, because I imagine Pauly D singing it to The Situation.

4) Feel intellectually superior, if only for a moment Case in point, when Angelina, the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" finds out she will be selling shirts on the boardwalk in the first season, she proclaims this humble profession is beneath her.
"I'm a bartender. I do...Great things," she says.

5) Biology Lessons Did you know women are sometimes called females? Well, the men of Jersey Shore are super scientific and they know this well. When Sammie "Sweetheart" is being taunted by a belligerent guy on the boardwalk, Ronnie shouts repeatedly, "Bro, she's a female. Bro, she's a female." See also, Facebook group dedicated to this biological observation.

6) To study the effects that Xenadrine have on a person's mental health: See;Ronnie.


7) Vicarious Confrontation I'm someone who doesn't enjoy confronting people about their behavior, much less pulling hair and throwing punches when the mood is escalated.  This show is a great outlet for my passive-aggressive streak. See some of the fights here.

8) Research about the state of Pop Culture These people, whether we like it or not, have now become ingrained in our popular culture. So much so that at times they're caricatures of themselves (see; The Situation). According to Know Your Meme, this is explained partially because of the interwebz:
"Considering the already exploitable nature of the Jersey Shore characters, Snookishop and similar Jersey Shore parodies can be seen as an example of how mainstream media and online exploit/gossip culture increasingly feed off each other."
(BTW, Snookishop is this amazing conglomeration of Snooki photoshopped into various images. )
We may not like the things that our pop culture deems important, but this show is really representative of the way people garner fame and how they become enmeshed in our mainstream media.  

Finally, to end this modest plea, in the hopes of us all coming together for this upcoming season of Jersey Shore (IN ITALY!) I ask for your consideration. How can you say no to these faces?